I’ve never blogged about how much I adore being a mother. Now that I have gathered some reader’s (thanks to the blogathon I’m a part of) I feel it’s time to open up about my self some so that my reader’s can get to know me on more of a personal level.
First off, allow me to tell you about my son. He is turning three the end of July. His name is Anthony…not Tony…I don’t enjoy nicknames all that much. He is a spitting image of me and I’m happy about that. I remember being pregnant with him and his father and I would go back and forth about who we thought he would look like. No one ever “won” of course. I would always say he was going to come out looking like me and Eric would say he was going to come out looking like him. When comparing my baby picture and my son’s, you can’t tell us apart.
I enjoy gazing at my child and I do it often. I catch myself staring at him while we’re sitting together, or when he falls asleep. And I mean STARING. Usually Anthony catches me and gives me the “Mom…why are you staring at me?”. And, of course, for you mom’s with toddler boys out there….their speech isn’t always clear at two and a half…so basically I can understand him clearly but no one else (other than immediate family) can. I love the soft curve of his face, his big, wide eyes. And his mile long eyelashes which are as black as night. Girls would kill to have such soft, full lashes….trust me…I know. His cute little fingers and toes which, by the way, are an exact replica of his father’s hands and feet. But I’ll have you know that my son’s beautiful, soft, full, chestnut brown hair came from me (thank you very much).
I love hearing him call me “mom”, “ma”, and “mommy” in that mellifluous little voice of his. And the way he hugs me so tight and gives me those sloppy, drool-filled, kisses of his. I’m sure all mother’s would agree that we have to fight back tears of overwhelming love when we look into our children’s eyes. There really is nothing like being a mother. I’m not sure how I lived my life before finding out that I was pregnant. I remember very clearly the day I took the home pregnancy test and realized in a nano-second that my life was about to change.
From that instant on, my entire being changed. I thought about my son from that very second I knew I was making him. I was scared and nervous. I knew my life would change, obviously, but not to what extent. And when I heard my newborn son cry for the first time and I looked lovingly at his tiny face when the nurses handed him to me, I knew that I would never love anything more in my entire life. All doubts and fears that I had about what kind of mother I would be drifted away to the place all fears go when you conquer them (wherever that may be). I was a mother from the moment of conception and I’m so happy Anthony chose me.
I am a thirty year old single mother. Eric and I are no longer together but he sees his son everyday and he’s a wonderful father to Anthony. We don’t fight or bicker or say mean things about each other. We respect each other as Anthony’s parents because it isn’t about us…it’s about something MUCH more important…our child. Sure, we have disagreements, but what parent’s don’t? We don’t love each other in the romantic sense anymore but we do love each other (as I’m sure parent’s can understand) for creating such a beautiful little soul together.
It’s hard being a single mother, I’m not going to lie. But it’s much more rewarding than hard. I wouldn’t turn back the hands of time for anything. Anthony has shown me so much about myself and about life. He is an angel. And I couldn’t be more proud to be his mother.