While I was cruising the internet, I came across a parenting blog that asked the question, “Will you be the kind of mother your mother was or will you be different?” I allowed my eyes to linger on the question for a few minutes, let the ideas roll around inside my head, then immediately decided I needed to blog about my response.
I know this question can go many ways, and there is possibility for a huge debate/discussion on the topic. So it may be beneficial to break this question up into a few blog posts, but we’ll see based on the responses.
My relationship with my mother is a close-knit one. We get along great, always have. She gave me everything I could ever want growing up, allowed me to find myself when I was going through my teenage years, and later when I became a mother, she is the best grandmother I (and my son) could ever ask for. So for me to answer the “what kind of mother will I be” question, my answer is simple: I hope to be exactly the kind of mother my mother was.
Now that I have sat and dwelled on my answer, if I replay instances in my head dealing with my son, I can see that I reacted like my mother did when I was small. Why did I do that? Because I couldn’t help it really. I am a product of her mothering. Naturally, when I chose the role as mother, my instincts leaned towards mothering like my mother did. I had no one else in my life to learn how to mother from except for my mother.
Those of you that are not close to your mothers will probably try to mother the exact opposite than the way you were mothered. Although I’m certain that if you look at the way you mother, there will be similarities somewhere.