The Presence of a Parent

A parent's presenceYour children need your presence more than your presents.  ~Jesse Jackson


Ain’t that the truth, huh?

Parents know how important it is to be a dominant presence within your child’s life, but sometimes I’m convinced they don’t understand it. 

Speaking from my own experiences, I am a stay at home mother to my son. I only have one child and therefore I’m sure that it’s much easier for me to give 100% of myself to my child than say – a mother with three or four kids – or even two. But I can’t speak for those moms, because I’m not one. I have only one human being who longs for my attention and my presence. The only thing he asks of me is “mommy play.” My son, at three, has no idea if we’re rich or poor, and he doesn’t care. If he only had one toy to play with, and a mommy who sat on the floor with him all day and played with him, he’d be happy. 

Parents tend to replace their presence with presents. You know who you are. You think that buying your child that Big Wheel will replace all the long hours that you put in at the office. Newsflash: it won’t. From birth until old age, kids need their parents. Not just to feed, shelter, and comfort them, but to be there for them and be parents to them. To sit on the floor and play Matchbox cars or Barbies means more to your children than any toy you could buy them.

Please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not claiming to be an expert on child rearing, and here’s another newsflash for you: no one is. Every child is different, and every parent is different. You parent exactly like your parents did, if you had a good upbringing. Or, if you had a horrible childhood, you parent completely different, hoping to give your children a better life. Either way, you’re a product of your environment. 

For me, I choose to shower my son with my presence. I spend hours each day playing with him, coloring, cooking, playing cars, or kicking a ball around. Your children want you around, never forget that. Make your child your priority instead of your job, or whatever it is that may take precedence over your parenting. I know, for some, it’s easier said than done if you’re the sole money maker. Regardless, your children are only their age once, you will never get back today. And your children will never forget that you weren’t there when they just wanted your attention, or to spend some alone time with you.

I chose to make myself a stay at home mom because I never wanted to miss a moment with my son. I think he literally grows before my eyes. To think that just three years ago I brought him home from the hospital, it seems like yesterday to me. I’m glad that I don’t have to put long hours in at the office and miss out on my sons first anything. My company means more to my son that any Transformer action figure I could buy him. Presence versus presents, they sound exactly alike, but carry an entire world of difference to your children.

Please share your thoughts and opinions. We learn best when it’s from each other.



Filed under Blogging, freelancing, parenting, Random Thoughts, Uncategorized, writing

2 responses to “The Presence of a Parent

  1. Pingback: Cosleeping: Yay or Nay? « Horrible Sanity

  2. This makes me feel awful…You are so lucky to have the option of staying home. As much as I want to be with my sons, with hubby laid-off and mortgage payments it is impossible right now.
    My only solace is the fact is they have the presence of their father around them.

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