I frequently receive a lot of inquiries on how I came to name my blog Horrible Sanity. So much so, that I thought it would be beneficial to my readers if I added a page explaining exactly where, how, and why I chose that name for my blog.
I am a HUGE Edgar Allan Poe fan. My copy of his complete works is tattered, weathered, and downright needs to be replaced. But I don’t care. I cart it around everywhere I go. I just never know when I’m going to be able to grab a free minute to read a few pages in between writing and being a mother to my three year old. It’s sort of like an American Express card to me, I never leave home without it.
With that being said, there is a line in a letter that Mr. Poe wrote and goes as so: “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” Brilliant huh? I think so. From the moment I read the line, I fell in love with it. I feel that the words describe my life at times. Being a mother and a writer is pure insanity, I’m sure those in the same boat as I would agree. Both need almost equal attention (the mother part winning out obviously) to grow and develop into something.
I have been writing longer than I have been a mother. My son is three, and my writing career started when I was small. I was always writing something. A poem, a short story, notes, doodles, et cetera. English was my favorite subject throughout school and eventually when I reached college, choosing my major wasn’t hard at all. Writing comes naturally to me. As does editing. I believe that the two go hand in hand.
Naturally, when I became a mother, my writing career faulted a little. My priorities were no longer putting pen to paper, I now had to mother. The part of me that wrote continuously really didn’t understand the abrupt change. Ideas continued to swirl around inside my head except now, I had an entire new subject to consider. Motherhood. I never attempted to write on the subject before because I knew I couldn’t even remotely grasp what it meant to be a mother until I actually became one myself.
Like most new moms, simply trying to get the hang of being a mother is enough to make anyone insane, let alone trying to find time to keep up a house and a career. For the first few months, I was too exhausted to do anything else but mother and sleep. I then found that I could write at nap times and at night. And eventually, as my son grew, we settled into a schedule and I was able to correctly juggle being a mom and a writer.
Horrible Sanity. Two words that are so powerful in my world. I thought it was a perfect name for my personal blog. Sometimes insanity seems the lesser evil to me. I’ve always thought in color rather than black and white. However, sanity can be so inviting at times as well. And “horrible sanity”, well that’s just the perfect mix for me. The split directly down the middle. I can allow myself to be sane (the mother part) and insane (the writer part) when I need a change from the norm. Thus creating my own world from the riddles that live in my head.
Welcome to my world. It’s called Horrible Sanity. Thanks, Mr. Poe for finding the words to describe an otherwise nameless existence.